Thursday, November 1, 2007

Bald Britney

Last night.

Are there really words to describe how awesome it was?

*yes...there are...duh*

Last night had its bad point (really do I ask for too much when I request one phone call a day? I obviously do)

Other than that- It was so fun.
I began getting ready around 7. I crafted a censor sign using felt and paint and left it in front of the fan to dry quickly. I took a shower, avoiding getting my hair too wet, and then I was really to begin the balding process.
Step by step pictures to come later when I have my laptop back.
Becoming Bald-Britney in 10 Easy(ish) Steps:::::
Step 1: Realize I have no bobby pins and go down the hall asking for contributions to the Bald Britney Bobby Pin Fund. Return to my room with 6 bobby pins. Using gel, a pink headband, and said bobby pins- successfully arrange my hair to ensure as few bumps as possible.
Step 2: Using copius amounts of spirit gum (really nasty but efficient stuff) on my neck and forehead, apply bald cap. Freak out for a couple seconds because ewwww...I'm bald!!...Realize you can see the pink headband through the very light-tan cap, and hope the make-up with cover it.
Step 3: Sit on Roommates computer while she paints my bald cap using some old Loreal base make-up that is now too light for me, and my base-brush.
Step 4: Stand in front of fan, bent over, feeling rather...falic.
Step 5: Sit on Roommates computer while she dusts my head with powder. Repeat step 3. Repeat step 4
Step 6: Repeat the first sentence of step 5
Step 7: Marvel at how weird it is.
Step 8: Apply the too-light makeup all over face, neck and ears. Take pictures because I REALLY LOOK BALD AT THIS POINT.
Step 9: Apply rest of make-up and don the Britney dress.
Step 10: Safety pin the censor sign to the proper place over some nude colored underwear. Create make-shift baby out of a balloon and a pillowcase. Put on 4 inch heels that are a size and a half too small, and VIOLA!

By 9:45 I, Britney Spears, was ready for a night out to flash my nether-reigions and let my kid drive (He was DD- go figure)

*Lacey Jane*"Lacey???""It's Britney, bitch.."
(check back tomorrow to hear about the costume contest! And how I got around that night without owning a car or having many friends)

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