I haven't had caffeine since probably 3 or 4 days prior to finding out I was pregnant. So it's been about a month and a half.
So last night when Jamie and I drank a pot of coffee so we could stay up a few more hours to do homework, I REALLY should've taken that into account. That was at 10pm. Here we are at 2:05pm the next day. Have I even felt the NEED to sleep? No. Not even the need. I have even TRIED.
I am not looking forward to the low that this coffee high is bound to bring.
In other, more disgusting news- Still bleeding in lovely little chunks! Still having horrid cramps around the same time every day, which I find to be rather off putting (430am, 1030am, 430pm, etc). Still devastatingly sad! But hey. I wrote a fucking paper today! It was torturous, because frankly, I just do not care about comm2020, or identity concepts. It's a B- paper. At best. For me? That's not so hot. But I really don't care.
I promise to try to care next week. But even the doctor said not to care about anything but resting (oops) and getting lots of liquids until Friday or Saturday, when physically, I should be back to normal. If I am miscarrying normally. Which I should be. Doing something normally has never felt so wrong.
Anyway. I don't know if you can TELL how scattered I am right now, but I am going to go take a shower, because that's seriously what I need to do right now. Then MAYBE I'll unwind.
"I'm still awake."
"watching 7th heaven."
"in your condition?"
"i know. and it's like a 7th heaven marathon."
"are you crying yet?"
"sobbing. lucy just got married. it was so cheesy and beautiful."
"are you at least laughing at yourself for crying so hard at 7th heaven?"
I love my friends, truly. they get me.