Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Caffeine...Probably Not The Best Idea...

I haven't had caffeine since probably 3 or 4 days prior to finding out I was pregnant. So it's been about a month and a half.

So last night when Jamie and I drank a pot of coffee so we could stay up a few more hours to do homework, I REALLY should've taken that into account. That was at 10pm. Here we are at 2:05pm the next day. Have I even felt the NEED to sleep? No. Not even the need. I have even TRIED.

I am not looking forward to the low that this coffee high is bound to bring.

In other, more disgusting news- Still bleeding in lovely little chunks! Still having horrid cramps around the same time every day, which I find to be rather off putting (430am, 1030am, 430pm, etc). Still devastatingly sad! But hey. I wrote a fucking paper today! It was torturous, because frankly, I just do not care about comm2020, or identity concepts. It's a B- paper. At best. For me? That's not so hot. But I really don't care.

I promise to try to care next week. But even the doctor said not to care about anything but resting (oops) and getting lots of liquids until Friday or Saturday, when physically, I should be back to normal. If I am miscarrying normally. Which I should be. Doing something normally has never felt so wrong.

Anyway. I don't know if you can TELL how scattered I am right now, but I am going to go take a shower, because that's seriously what I need to do right now. Then MAYBE I'll unwind.

*Lacey Jane*
"I'm still awake."
"watching 7th heaven."
"in your condition?"
"i know. and it's like a 7th heaven marathon."
"are you crying yet?"
"sobbing. lucy just got married. it was so cheesy and beautiful."
"are you at least laughing at yourself for crying so hard at 7th heaven?"
"you betcha."

I love my friends, truly. they get me.


tejanamama said...

ouch!! that is a LOT of pep! be careful cuz your doc said you need fluids and caffeine is a diaretic. so drink PLENTY of water and other stuff w/o caffeine to keep you well hydrated. Glad you got the paper done. I say a B is GREAT ..all things considered woman! Keep chuggin!

tejanamama said...

diuretic even ;)

tejanamama said...

ONE more time.

LOVEd seventh heaven! hated lucy tho...

Those ppl have a new show now...the secret life of an american teen (i think) or something like that. on ABC family. I watched that and enjoyed it this year.

Marcy said...

Honey, you have lost a child. You have every right not to care about anything else right now.


Anonymous said...

Is there nothing the doctors can do about it? You're supposed to go through life, for DAYS, bleeding?

Is this the best modern medicine can do?

Take a leave from schoolwork. You've gone through hell since you found out you were pregnant, and now you are going through the seventh circle of hell (if not deeper). Screw schoolwork. You'll be allowed to make the work up. Give your professors this blog address.

Have you talked to a counselor or therapist?

The Crivella Family said...

You seem to be doing great under the circumstances, you are truly a STRONG woman, who definitely could and can handle having a family no matter what your life situation is at the moment. Just wondering what the status was with you and the father, are you over? Just being nosy!