I've heard that when you miscarry, you tend to see a lot of pregnant ladies or people with babies a bit more than before you were ever pregnant. What I have not heard is really just how downright CRUEL the Universe can actually be. I really thought that we were homeboys. The Universizzle and myself. But I guess not.
Saturday I worked the Michael Buble (howww do I accent the e?) concert. I took tickets, which was nice, but I kind of wish I could've seen more of the concert. The guy is a charmbucket. No doubt.
Anyway, they gave me the line that they directed all the giddy pregnant women to. I didn't see the sign, but there must have been one somewhere. I lost count somewhere in the teens at how many went through my line, and at least 5 of them commented on how they were pregnant (by talking about how they had to pee, by happily pressing their friends' hands to their stomach, etc), and the whole time I was dealing. I can deal with that stuff. It's fine. Good for them. Lucky them. I'm cool. I'm dealing. I'm not crying. Shut up, Michael Buble, with your sad songs and your pretty voice, I'm not crying.
I might've TEARED a bit, but there was absolutely NO crying.
THEN. Then a grandfather came through the line with his two grandsons. An 8 year old (I assume), and a 6.5-7 month old. I would swear on it. I'm good at guessing baby ages. Based on how they act, how they focus, and how they look of course. Anyway- This sweet old guy (probably late 50's- not THAT old..) He came through the line and I commented on what a group of heartbreakers they were, which made him laugh, and the 8 year old look confused. They were so cute, especially, of course, the baby, who I really just wanted to hang out with. "Excuse me, he won't remember this. Give him to me for a few hours!", but instead I just smiled. Ya know.
About 3 hours later, he's walking around with his grandsons again, and they're heading outside. I smile at them again. Because I'm a smiley ticket taker. On his way back in, he literally THRUSTS HIS GRANDCHILD AT ME and says "Here take him, I'm done for awhile." in a smiley sarcastic voice, which had no negativity in it at all. He thought he was being so funny by handing a baby to me.
First of all- ouch.
Second of all- OH man. If I weren't wearing heels, I swear I could've outrun everyone with that baby. He was awesome.
Third of all- I held him for a good minute and a half before he realized he actually didn't know who I was, and wanted to go back to grandpa, who was smiling and flirting in a very harmless way the whole time.
Fourth of all- I love people that hand me babies. I love babies that want me to hold them (My whole life, babies and small children in grocery lines and church and anywhere have come up to me and tried to get me to pick them up. Sometimes I do, because I cannot resist, and sometimes I don't, because some parents freak about stuff like that. Which is understandable, but dude- your kid wants me to hold him/her. How can I say no?)
Anway- as nice and painful as that way- I know it was just the Universe sittin' back and laughing at me.
I haven't bled since Friday night/Saturday morning. All of Saturday and Sunday resulted in 3 clean pads. Woo!
TODAYYYY, I was pretty much accepting the fact that I have to go back to class. I missed my first one because I am too far behind to go sit in class while everyone works on stage 3 of something that I haven't even started... But I went to my afternoon class, celebrating the feeling of no underwear once again (I've never enjoyed wearing underwear), and my Spanish class went really well. No one talked to me, which was great. The teacher read my (horrible) Dr.'s note (more on that later) and excused me from all classes missed last week, including a quiz I missed.
Then I went on my way to my comm class. My favorite class! Cool. This will be enjoyable. I hope. I have an exam today, according to my calendar. SO I head for Wooten- the building that is furthest away from all my other classes and my apartment. But it's okay. It's comm.
Something doesn't feel right. That sucks. What is that feeling. It feels familiar. Whyyyy am I having that feeling.
(Those are the thoughts that are going through my mind, in case you were wondering)
I get to Wooten, go to the bathroom, and embrace, with much loathing, the torrents of blood issuing forth from my nether reigions. Soaking through my dark jeans and continuing to steadily drip as I sit there, cursing the Universe, who I can almost HEAR chuckling in the corner.
Lucking I'm wearing a really old, really long t shirt today. It was tied up a bit, but I let it down so no one would have to go through this happy time with me (except you fine people), and headed back home. Sorry Comm class.
Don't worry about the exam. I didn't even go to the correct building. The exam is NEXT Monday. Lame. But good. Sucks that I walked all the way to Wooten though, when my class was chillin' in GAB (RIGHT across the street from my apartment).
Needless to say, all it took was one glowing pregnant woman on my way home (I saw three, but ONE WAS ENOUGH) for me to burst into tears and come back to my apartment.
If it weren't for Jamie, I would be popping a xanax and going to sleep right now.
But I have a spectacular friend who invited me over later this evening, and I'm just going to go over there now.
Have a special day, everyone. I can't decide whether I want to get on the Universe's good side, or try to piss it off even more... Lately we haven't quite been getting along.