Fellow Blogstars, I really can't figure out how to live from day to day. I am failing at it. I go through all the motions but I'm not getting enough accomplished. I feel kind of like a huge failure.
Oh I hate school these days. I fell a bit behind when I miscarried. It is SO BAD to fall a bit behind your junior year of college, because it is SO HARD to catch back up. I HOPE I am passing all my classes. I have been turning in all my assignments, but when I get them back with poor grades, they are not near as awesome as I thought they were when I first handed them in. I have no doubt that I will fail math. I might even fail English. I talked to a a lot of people in my English class today, though, and they all seem to think that she is a very unfair grader, and they all might fail as well. A girl got her paper back today and burst into tears. I looked at mine- a B+, hey awesome! But wait....-10 points for a formatting problem (A formatting problem. Not multiple), so a C+. Great. That sucks. For me. On an ENGLISH PAPER. My BEST subject. Guess not this semester. It is so frustrating to consistently do NOTHING but homework every single night, and still get poor grades.
Still no job. I completed my TABC yesterday so as soon as I get that in the mail I am going to go apply at sleazy bars up and down Fry St because NO ONE ELSE will hire me. Also, I wonder how I even think I will be able to hold a job when I can BARELY finish my homework from 5-11 every night.
Oh my friends are wonderful. I REALLY wish they didn't live 45 minutes away. Or that I didn't live 45 minutes away, really. I usually see friends on weekends, although now I am completely out of gas and completely out of money. So, FAIL.
Why didn't anyone tell me living alone was so lonely? And if they DID, why didn't I listen? I don't mind being alone during the day. But I hate being alone at night.
I eat damn well, thanks. Kind of. Sometimes. At least once a day. Better than most college kids.
I so signed up for NaNoWriMo this month. I have started at least 6 novels. Hated them all. Gave up. Started writing my movie. That's going well. Format isn't there. Plot isn't there. So far all I have are characters, and a bunch of stories to incorporate. That's at least a string to grasp at.
SO- Life lately? Sucks. Really. Just in the past 3 weeks or so.
NOT counting weekends. My weekends have been splendid. It's the damn weeks that really bring me way way down.
I just can't deal lately.
Thanks for putting up with my bitching for the day :o) it's appreciated.