Interterm. Working out every day, rehearsal after dinner, party every night. Every day was an awesome day. Ashley and I were basically connected at the hip, because I didn't have any bedding I spend the majority of my nights with her. Elliott and I started dating at the end of January, and that surprised basically everybody. Even me. I was really happy though.
Godspell went down this month, and my parents and Dave came up and they all met Elliott. Parents liked him for the most part- Dave? Not so much. But I liked him and that's all that really mattered to me. Prince performed at halftime for the superbowl and it was so amazing it gave me goosebumps. Elliott shared the love for Prince and his mom sent the Purple Rain DVD...haha...that's what I remember from February...
Spring Break was good..I came home with Nicolette and Lindsay and we had a good time going shopping and hanging out and seeing Whitney and Mckinzie in Ft Worth. I missed Elliott a lot, and was happy to get back to KS to see him.
It snowed in Kansas on my 19th birthday. I had big plans to have a really long exciting night- but Elliott took me out to dinner in Salina and I ate so much and got so tired that I was in bed by 10. The next night we had more of a party, but I felt old for not sticking through my actual birthday night. I went on a choir trip in April too, and Elliott missed me so much that his roommates got sick of him talking about it. That is the Elliott I fell in love with, and I was never happier.
Graduation was so sad. I cried when I saw Sally in her gown and cap in the morning when the choir sang. She was beautiful. Elliott and I were a tiny bit late for the actual ceremony because he is such a woman when it comes to getting ready for stuff. We walked in right in front of the graduates and sat in the back. Sally and Amanda and Josh all graduated and it was reallllly sad. Sally and Amanda had a party afterwards and a lot of people went. I cried as I went around and had my picture taken with my faves. My dad got there and it was time for me to say bye. gahhh it was so sad. Dad, Elliott, and I went out to dinner before dad and I left. I hated saying bye to Elliott- but I knew I would see him over the summer, so it wasn't toooooo too bad.
Got a job at the airport. Very lame. Went to Houston and met Elliott's family and immediately loved them all. I worked a lot...hung out with Jamie as much as possible. Mom was really sick and in and out of the hospital. It was really sad.
Still working at the airport...Spend the 4th of July at Elliott's, which was really nice. It was rainy so the fireworks show was canceled...we still shot some off at a friend of his house, and they were awesome. I went back to Houston for Elliott's birthday. I went skydiving and loved it. I acquired a fake ID to ride in the stretch hummer all over Houston with him and a bunch of his friends. We convinced his mom to go too- and for the most part it was really fun. At some point over the summer I went to visit Heather in Austin. I don't remember what month that was- but I met Ernesto and Heather and I played scrabble because we are awesome. It was really fun and I was really glad to see her.
Started school. Alone. Immediately fell in love with my wonderful Roommate, who I lovingly refer to as Roommate, but really her name is Laura. Went to Houston every couple weekends, but made a couple friends and had a good time in Nac. Molly had puppies, and boy were they CUTE.
Really tired of SFgAy by now. Everything was so dirty, and I didn't feel safe anywhere. Elliott came to visit and we had fun. Roommate is still awesome and I am thankful for her. I become more and more unhappy with each passing day. Classes aren't too bad, but some of them are really overwhelming. I am really really missing my Kansas friends- as well as Elliott.
I went to a gay Halloween party here in Dallas with my sister, Annie. We dressed up as musical bums. We had finger cymbals and drums- we took requests, and wore "Will work for.." signs. One guy thought I was hilarious and told me for Halloween I should be Bald Britney. I thought about it- then ended up doing it. I would have won the costume contest had the cops not crashed the party... I spent actual Halloween in Houston though, and we had a mini party at Elliott's house. I pwned him in scrabble- the real reason we broke up, probably.
Went to Austin and partied it up with Heather. We always have a good time. It was awesome to see her and Ernesto was so generous and kind the whole time. It was really fun. I went to Houston a couple times this month too (surprise!). Thanksgiving went well with relatively no drama. The whole family was here, and it snowed. None of it stuck, but it was still lovely.
I took my final trip to Houston on December 1st or so. Elliott and I got into a really big fight, which is always fun. I left on a kind of awkward/bad note- and we ended up breaking up later that week. I am still not very happy about it, but there really isn't anything I can do that I know of- so there is not much use fretting over it (even though sometimes I just can't help it). I said goodbye to Roommate this month, and I miss her every day. I also said goodbye to Cortney (another srgay friend) and I miss her in my life too. I really miss my Kansas friends, but hopefully I will go see them next month! I left SfgAy and it has been...interesting...so far, living at home again. I have spent the majority of my time with Heather, and I do not know what I will do when she leaves me and goes back to Austin. I have a couple jobs lined up that I will be starting in January.
All in all? On a scale of 1-10, this year was a 6. Not too great but not terrible. I met and fell in love with a whole other family in another city and they basically got snatched away from me. I have small hopes that I will see them again someday, and I put a lot into those small hopes. I fell in love with a wonderful man who changed his whole life, and seemingly his outlook on life when he moved home. I don't know what happened, but I guess it didn't work out- so in and out of a relationship this year...not my favorite thing. I got immensely closer to Heather, Aida and Alex- something I didn't know was possible- but I am so thankful for it. My mom and I's relationship fell apart and patched back up 100 times this year- and I wish it would stay patched. I changed my whole life a million times and still have little idea of what to do. I feel more unhealthy and more pessimistic than I ever have.
Tomorrow is a New Year, and although I would really like that to hold some significance, the truth is- it's just another day, just like yesterday, and just like today. Nothing will change until I make it change- but I am finding it more and more difficult to just be happy. Off to see Dr. Katzen this week and just talk some stuff over with him. Wish me luck.
And have a Happy New Year.
"I don't know where I belong, but I'll be moving on."