Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Don't Have Time To Update, So Forgive Me When This Sucksss:

Hello, fellow Blogstars. How are you? I hope that you have all been very very well this holiday season. I know that I have been listening to 103.7 nonstop in the car because they only play Christmas music, and I definitely love Christmas music. I can listen to it every day, and, well, I do. So yeah.

Some of you may recall that I recently mentioned that I was going to be visiting my doctor quite soon. That happened yesterday, and it went, well, it was intense. He basically told me that yes, I am a mess, but lucky for me I am a fixable mess, an easy fix at that, and pretty soon I will be back to being happy and loving and blahblahblah. So that's good news I suppose. I was given medicine to help me sleep, because it's been bad. I don't sleep much. When I do manage to fall asleep at a decent hour, I wake up 2-3 times because of bad dreams. A lot of times, I can't go back to sleep. SO hopefully starting tonight, things will go better in the sleep department.

My doctor recommended a lady for counseling. I will be thinking about that. It isn't about the councelling in general, it is that it is far away, and probably expensive. So we'll see.

He also said that my self esteem seemed to be at an all time low. Which I disagreed. "I'm the shit." I informed him. He said "What are your friends like these days?" And so I gave him a run down of how spectacular my friends are, and he told me to start hanging out with people who are in the same place in life that I am in. I said, "I do, all my friends are within my age group..." He said "that's not what I mean..."

So that kind of sucked... I really adore my friends that I hang out with a lot, so I will continue to hang out with them, but he says he thinks I would be happier with myself if I hung out with more students. Lame. I like diversity in my friends. My friends come from all walks of life. I like that. It helps me learn about all walks of life. I don't know. It was the most confusing part of our talk.

He also prescribed me xanax to help with anxiety and he doubled my zoloft prescription from before. I go back to see him in 3 weeks and hopefully I will be less of a mess. He's a good guy, my doctor. Just. Sometimes he confuses me.

Good news! I passed 3 out of my 4 classes. Failed math. Again. Go figure. I got 2 D's and a C, but STILL. Passed. Better than failing everything. This was definitely the worst semester of my entire life. I am usually a decent B student. Next semester looks promising. Except I am attempting math again. For the third time. We'll see. I hate it. It's hard and we don't get along. Math=Lame.

I'm working at the daycare again. Does anyone who lives near me (coughcristinacough) know of a place to work over the summer that er....isn't....the daycare? My immune system is not what it ought to be, and working in the petrie dish of America is really probably not the best place for me, especially during cold and flu season, when ALL the 2 year olds have neon runny noses.....

I think that is it for my selfish all about me update. There is a lot of dramatic things going on that I am getting tired of. Not tired as in annoyed, but tired as in- well- just. Tired. It is tiring.

And with that, I am going to go dry my hair. It's freezing outside. And it snows every now and then. Which is just sickening. Then I am off to work. Which I am not looking forward to, because really, I didn't get much sleep last night......


Desiree said...

I work for a Mother's Day Out program at my church. We have a summer session too and it's only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's located in Grapevine so email me if you want more info:

Marcy said...

It's great and wonderful to have a diverse group of friends, who can teach you about things you are unfamiliar with and help broaden your world.

But there's also a need to have friends who understand what you're going through and can share that with you, too. You need people who can tell you, "I know how that feels" and you know that it's true. I know the single biggest thing that's helped this year when I'm feeling at my most frustrated and upset, are people who I know are going through, or have recently in the past, the the same things and so do know exactly how I feel.

I doubt your doctor meant for you to stop seeing your current friends completely, especially if they make you happy and are fun to be with, just add to them with people who might understand you in different ways.

BTW have you checked for job openings? It kinda varies by region, but I know a few people who've found good jobs that way.

Marcy said...

PS- What is a blog other than a series of selfish all-about-me updates? ; ) I've been writing selfish all-about-me updates for years. =P

Criss said...

If the therapist he recommended lives too far from you, ask him (or her) to recommend someone closer to you.

I'll keep my eyes open for job openings, but I don't know how many I'll come across. I'll let you know, though.

tejanamama said...

I was about to say the same thing. IF the person is far, ask for a closer recommendation because I think that is nonnegotiable to feeling better. The meds and sleep will help. His friends suggestion is a good one too, but without the other element...I don't think you'll find a lasting positive change. I REALLY HOPE YOU are able to get in to see someone soon!!!!! Also look into sliding scale. I'd never have been able to do therapy without finding a place that did sliding scale pay!!!!


oh and congrats on the classes! Passing three out of four, all things considered, is not bad. I would have taken Incompletes! ;)

The Amazing Ernie J. said...

My therapist is the shit. She's all the way in North Dallas but it's totally worth it. She actually cut us a deal and we pay like half price to see her cause she's awesome like that. I'll bet if you explain your financial situation your prospective shrink would do something similar.

And have I mentioned lately that I miss your sorry ass? We need to hang out sometime soons.