Hey guys. Tineebops asked for an update on my life, and how can I refuse her charm?
Let's see. It has been a long, crazy 2 months. I don't even know where to begin. Really. I don't. Do I start from now and work backwards? That would be the easiest for me, but the most confusing for you. Starting then and working forwards I feel as though I would miss important things... Although really- none of it is all that important. Categories are generally what I tend to fall back on, even though that makes me feel kind of lazy.
Ah well. I guess it doesn't matter.....Categories it is. What kind though? I guess we could go very basic. Family. School. Work. Friends. Summer Plans. Future. hahaha. Just kidding. we won't talk about the future. Anything I am missing? Hmmm.. Things That Just Really, Really, Really Suck. That one could take awhile. Okay hmm. I haven't written in awhile. ANYTHING. At all. So this is very unfamiliar.... Try and keep up...
The Smaxters are no more. I suppose I can start with that. About 2 weeks ago my mom and dad split up. My mom has been staying with friends and my dad moves out of the house tomorrow to go live with some roommate somewhere. I can see all your sympathetic faces now... Thanks for that- but before you get all emo on me, let's all be sure we are sympathizing for the right reasons. I love my mom and dad both very much. The fact that they are splitting up is sad. The fact that for the past two weeks my siblings and I have had to endure the annoyances of their lives is even more sad. Please don't hate me for saying this, but honestly them bitching about it or talking through us is way more annoying and sad than them splitting up. We care because they are our parents and everything but we don't care, because we don't live with them, and it is not really our business. As Dave put it- "As long as they can be in the same room for Christmas and Thanksgiving, who cares what they do? I'm not going to two places for Christmas." I probably would, but he's right- they are big kids with their own lives just like us. I hope they are both happier in the long run because of this decision (that my mom made). In fact I know they will be. I realize how bratty I sound about all of this- but....wait. I don't have one of those. I just wanted to throw it out there that I realize it. That's all I have to say (I think).
Out for now, small hopes for future education other than the occasional online classes.
I quit my job at the daycare when my racist boss got on to me for something ridiculous and wouldn't answer my questions about it. I'll leave it at that because just thinking about this vile woman makes me want to throw the laptop across the office. I now work at a restaurant that is close to my parents house where I occasionally stay when I feel the need to punish myself. I have never been a server before and I am not too bad at it. In fact the owner of the restaurant always puts me on the biggest tables, and always has me serve when his friends or partners or investors or what-have-you come in. I have a sparkling personality. You would never know by reading this. But it is there. The bad part about this job is that the restaurant is fairly new and we never get any business. No business=No money. I need money. I have things to pay off. Some things are valid. Speeding tickets. Valid. Parking ticket. NOT valid. I hate Watagua.
I miss my friends. I miss Heather. I haven't gone this long without seeing her since we were 3 years old. She will be home Sunday, and I cannot wait to see her. Jamie Shaie's phone has been off for a month or so. I miss her. I got to see her yesterday and it was miraculous. The group of friends that I met through Lloyd are still phenomenal. I love them very much. My lease is up May 31st and I will be moving in with Greg, Becca, and Eric. Brandon is moving out. Stuff happened. I will include Lloyd in this category although for now Lloyd is no friend of mine. Or Greg, Becca, and Eric's. Stuff happened. Stuff that should wait for its own post. But we all know how I promise that and it never happens....So I guess here we go:
Stuff That Happened:
Lloyd and I broke up a couple weeks ago because it just wasn't working. We both knew it wasn't working. We were having a very good/bad relationship. When it was good it was awesome when it was bad it was terrible. I looked at him one day and said how sad it was that we weren't meant to be together. That got him thinking. I said we should stay together until August because we suck at being broken up, and I am moving far away in August. He said we should just break up now. So that's what we did. It was mutual, but he decided to do it sooner rather than later. We were both sad but both okay. I finally had peace of mind that Lloyd and I were 100% finished. Something I haven't ever had in the 3 times previous to this that we had broken up.
A few weeks later I go to a party with a bunch of friends that I met through Lloyd who were now mutual friends. Brandon, Eric, and Carlos. Also present were friends I have met through Carlos. A great Denton party. Very fun, very drama-free, very alcohol-ful, very...other stuff-ful. LONG story short, we go back to the house and I end up sleeping with Eric (scandalous, I know.). This was not a bad drunken mistake- For the record I was very coherent and aware of what was going on at all times. Jamie Q, Candace, Joey and I ("the girls" of the group of olde) have always had crushes on Eric. He doesn't talk terribly much. He blushes easy. He has red curly hair that is longer than mine. He is AWESOME. So I went for it. Because I am single and I can do that. TURNS OUT Eric has always been interested in me. WHAT?! ME?! Awesome. So there we have it. We had sex. Shower sex. Bedroom sex. Hammock sex. SexsexsexsexsexsexsexFUCK yeah!We got barely 2 hours of sleep before waking up for seperate mothers day brunches and then a full day of work for me.
(I realize I tend to not be so graphic when it comes to sex on my blog, but I really want to overexude how bad I do not feel about this. Yes, Eric is Lloyds friend from highschool. That isn't cool. However, let me remind you: Lloyd. Got me pregnant. Told me he never loved me. Broke up with me. I miscarried. He gets another woman pregnant. Professes his undying love for me. We get back together. It doesn't work out. We break up amicably. All of the horrible things he has done does not even measure up to the one horrible thing I have done.)
So the next night I am over there again (I crash there on the couch a lot because going home is an option I sometimes do not allow myself), and I start getting texts from Lloyd. In one of them he says to please be honest with him if I start sleeping with another guy because he knows how I have been going out a LOT lately and partying a LOT lately (hell yah. I'm 21 now) and it has been driving him CRAZY and please be honest he just wants to know.
In case you guys don't know this- I AM honest. I tend to try to ALWAYS be honest. Even if I know it will hurt someone. So I explained to Lloyd that yes I have had sex with Eric and it was after a party where we all got pretty drunk and blah blah blahhh. He doesn't respond, so I give him about 45 minutes and ask if he's okay. He doesn't respond again so I put my phone on vibrate and go to sleep. Remember, I am very tired. 2 hours of sleep the night before. It is 1:30 in the morning before I go to sleep this time, and I am delirious.
At 2:45 that morning, BARELY an hour later- I awake with a start to someone POUNDING on the window and yelling. Very cool way to be woken up when you are delirious, by the way. Very cool. So Eric goes outside and stands there and lets Lloyd scream at him. He apologizes but doesn't have much to say. Lloyd says he wants to talk to me immediately but Eric says he can't until he calms down. Lloyd says he's going to call the cops and have everyone in the house arrested because there is sure to be illegal substances in that house somewhere. So I go outside to talk to Lloyd. Lloyd wants to walk and talk so that Eric and Zach (Lloyds bestie who gave him a ride- don't hate- he didn't know he would be this bad) wouldn't hear us. After I get called a slut and told that he was going to make my life a living hell, I was pretty much finished with that conversation. I tried to go back to Erics house but was more or less manhandled down another block. Bruises to prove it. Should've gotten him arrested, but I have a pitying heart, not to mention a soul. Eric and Zach find us and Lloyd backs off because they tell him to. Eric and I go back to his house and Zach and Lloyd prepare to leave. It was bad. Very obnoxious. Very scary. Very sad. Someone knocks on the door. It's Lloyd. "Please let me talk to her one more time, I promise I won't scream" I consent and we go into the backyard. I don't even know what we talk about. The next thing I know, cops are there and we are being questioned for a domestic disturbance call. I just want them to leave so I can go to sleep so I proceed to tell them that Lloyd is a big baby and everything is fine and he's mad because I had sex with his friend and he's leaving and it is all over and I am so sorry for disturbing the peace. The cop was nice and nodded along and said he was glad everyone was okay. The cop inside questioning Lloyd was just about ready to go, but for the hell of it decides shine his flashlight around the house for good measure. Spots some stems and seeds on the kitchen table and it's all over. All 7 people in the house at the time are woken up by the cops and we all sit in the living room for 5 hours (until 8:30. Remember how tired I was? NOTHING compared to then). The cops obtain a warrant and search the whole house (even though they had already gone into Greg/Beccas room and flashed their light around. Without a warrant. Actually they didn't even have permission to enter the house in the first place. Just "probable cause"....don't get me started...). Greg, Becca, and Eric all get arrested. Brandon doesn't- the only person who lives there that doesn't. Because they don't find anything in his room. Longest-Story-Ever-Shortened-Just-A-Bit: Eric has a felony and Greg and Becca have misdemeanors. Very horrific. Lloyd. Sucks.
So that's where my life is right now. I am so upset about everything. There is so much I want to blog but can't.
I am not speaking to Lloyd. A few people aren't, actually.
I got a parking ticket the next day for being too far away from the curb, and parked facing the wrong way. I was parked in a cul de sac. so it's pretty impossible to park right against the curb. the wrong way? holy shit EVERYONE in texas should have tickets for that. Those fucking bastards. I am pissed about everything right now. EvERYTHING.
My ticket is 150 dollars but my car is not in my name, so I can't pay it. The car isn't in the name of the guyI bought it from either. It is in his father in laws name. I was told that I cannot pay this ticket. I have to bring whoever is on the title to pay it. Ridiculous. Guess how much it costs to get the car in my name? AT LEAST another 150.
I am moving to Houston in August to help my dear galpal Allison out. Her baby (my goddaughter) is due in October. She is 18 years old and more responsible than most 30 year olds. She has a full time job, she is a full time student, she has a loving supportive family, and the father of the baby is an idiot. She has been dating him for over 3 years. They've lived together fo r the past 8 months or so. She left him because she couldn't put up with him anymore, and then 3 days later discovered she was pregnant. She didn't get back together with him because of this and I couldn't be more proud of her. Her and I (And Amber Grace...Ava Grace....Alivia Grace....depending on the day) are getting a house in August and we're going to live our lives out there for awhile. I am so happy to do this, because I have baby fever as we all know, and this IS my goddaughter after all.
I am planning on doing shows this summer, but Lloyd is planning on doing the same shows. I am going to tell the directed when I audition that if he gets cast I will not be doing the shows. I hate that I have to back down on them. I really think it should be him. I know him though and I know he won't do that. Same place as last year. I am excited for auditions.
Sorry this post got so sporadic. I am being a huge hater right now.
My car doesn't work by the way. Clutch is out. If ANYONE out there has an extra car that they can rent to me for the next 2 months I would be SO GRATEFUL. Please let me know, and I hope everyone in the bloggosphere is doing exponentially better than I am.