Saturday, August 29, 2009

One Year Ago

One year ago:

7:45am: Woke up to get ready for 9am class. Woke up early for no reason. Lived alone in an apartment that I both loathed and loved.


6:45am: Woke up early for no reason. Knot in my throat.

One year ago:

8am: took the pregnancy test I promised I would take for Lloyd because I was due to start my period the day before and I had not. My periods were like clockwork so he was worried.


7am: Rolled over and tried not to think about it.

One year ago:

8:03am: just stared at it.


7:03am: filled with every tiny detailed memory about that day a year ago. I remember what my apartment smelled like. I remember who I called. In what order. Stoically getting ready for school. Remembered every thought I had that morning.

One year ago today:

Not one tear all day.


As few tears as possible. Tried very hard not to cry all day. Had an okay day. It's always there in the back of my mind. Especially today.


Criss L. Cox said...


It's not something you just "get over." I would worry about you if you didn't have a reaction like this. Sending love your way.

The Amazing Ernie J. said...

I shower you with internet hugs. I hope it helps get that odd hollow taste out of your soulmouth.

And I would LOVE to go to your old womanesque party, I know exactly what shoes I'm going to wear. I'll even bring some sort of tasty dessert if you'd like me to.

And my word was Derseda, which sounds like something a welfare mom would name their daughter.