Saturday, August 29, 2009

One Year Ago

One year ago:

7:45am: Woke up to get ready for 9am class. Woke up early for no reason. Lived alone in an apartment that I both loathed and loved.

Today:

6:45am: Woke up early for no reason. Knot in my throat.

One year ago:

8am: took the pregnancy test I promised I would take for Lloyd because I was due to start my period the day before and I had not. My periods were like clockwork so he was worried.

Today:

7am: Rolled over and tried not to think about it.

One year ago:

8:03am: just stared at it.

Today:

7:03am: filled with every tiny detailed memory about that day a year ago. I remember what my apartment smelled like. I remember who I called. In what order. Stoically getting ready for school. Remembered every thought I had that morning.

One year ago today:

Not one tear all day.

Today:

As few tears as possible. Tried very hard not to cry all day. Had an okay day. It's always there in the back of my mind. Especially today.

2 comments:

Criss L. Cox said...

***hugs***

It's not something you just "get over." I would worry about you if you didn't have a reaction like this. Sending love your way.

The Amazing Ernie J. said...

I shower you with internet hugs. I hope it helps get that odd hollow taste out of your soulmouth.

And I would LOVE to go to your old womanesque party, I know exactly what shoes I'm going to wear. I'll even bring some sort of tasty dessert if you'd like me to.

And my word was Derseda, which sounds like something a welfare mom would name their daughter.