Saturday, April 26, 2008

Wait, what!??!

Man. For starting off this year trying to blog every single day, I really fail miserably as a xanganeer (xangaqueer?)...Sorry loyal xanga fan(s)... I will attempt to update you all both as soon as I don't feel quite so lethargic.

IE- not right now.

But really I am alive and kicking! sleeping a lot!

Going to the doctor on Cinco de May so we can evaluate how the medication is going. Since about 2 weeks after starting it I haven't had any breakdowns at all (so for those who are wondering- that would mean no breakdowns in the last um..week- Still! An improvement!)!!! However it has made me, as my mom so kindly pointed out today, a "walking zombie", so perhaps the meds will be changed again- perhaps not- we shall see- and you shall be updated.

Anyway um.. sorry for this pitiful excuse for an update, but I just wanted to say hi and forgive my absence! Thanks..and truly I love all most some of you so much!

*Lacey Jane*

"Pretty flowers!"
"too bad they are from my soon to be ex husband. he'sablackguy and i ended up in the hospital."
*silence while my mom tried to make sense of this seemingly racist comment*
"well..uh... that's...what you get for marrying a black guy?"
"patty listen to me. he. gave. me. a. black. eye. and i ended up. in the hospital."

-my mom and one of her a VERY VERY patty moment. hilarity.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

And Today? Today I'm 20

And there are no more excuses.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

When I Was 19

I continued a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who was 4 hours away, and visited him as often as I could. I met and fell completely in love with his amazing family, and became part of it. I transferred to a school that I thought could give me more opportunities than the one I had loved my freshman year. My boyfriend was also supposed to transfer but didn't make it. This hurt and made it very difficult to be happy. We continued dating until December, and we broke up. I still miss him every day, and his family almost more. I transferred yet again the following semester. I went home and to a community college. I fell into a state of depression that I am trying to dig myself out of even now. I am moving forward and doing well, but it is difficult to be positive. I formed a more distinct plan for my life. Still hazy, but still more distinct. I haven't been proud of myself in way too long. I dyed my hair for the first time ever, and cannot wait for it to be back to blonde. 19 was a very very difficult year.

Friday, April 11, 2008

When I Was 18...

I went to Switzerland and had a spectacular time overseas. So interesting and so amazing. I had a fantastic last summer before college. I hung out with Aja almost every day and we ate Popsicles and played Rummikub. I wrote and directed the last show at Starlight and was more proud of myself and of my cast than I ever thought possible. I went away to school and experienced things I am so so happy to have experienced. I joined an amazing sorority and had a hell of a time doing it. I got mono and fought through the semester anyway. I was proud of my gpa. I met and fell in love with my second boyfriend. He and I had more fun than I ever had with the previous one, who I finally got over after almost 10 months of really. not. letting. go.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

When I Was 17...

I went on awesome vacations. I was almost finished with school. I had a job that I liked. I was still heavily into theater. I got my heart broken, and it hurt worse than I expected it to. For a very very long time it hurt. I found a college and fell in love with it. I got accepted and could not wait to leave.

When I Was 16...

I got my drivers license. I had the best boyfriend in the world. I was in every show I could have possibly been in, and was involved with those that I couldn't actually be on stage for. I had the greatest friends in the world. I was on top of the world.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

When I Was 15...

I got my first real true boyfriend. We dated for almost 2 years and it was an awesome experience. I also went to my first public school. That was crazy, and I hated it. I stage managed for the first time. The Wizard of Oz was a show I will never forget. I learned so much that year. Being 15 was awesome. I loved it. I learned how to drive. Something I had wanted to do since I was 13, and Annie and Callie were getting their drivers licenses. That was 15..

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

When I Was 14...

I had my very first kiss. I was at a movie. With my youth group (well, Heather's youth group...that I went to a lot in those days). And a guy who was fairly new just kind of leaned over and shoved his tongue down my throat. I was very embarrassed and very sad. I didn't tell him he could do that, and my very first kiss was ruined. Doesn't seem so important now- but I am still a little ticked.

Starlight opened when I was 14, thus beginning a very busy three and a half years of being at the theater almost constantly. A very great time in my life. The first show I did there was Cinderella, the first kids show. I played the Wicked Stepmother. It was great. Aja and I cried when they tore the set down. We got used to saying goodbye to shows really fast after that. Anyway- that was 14.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

When I Was 13...

I shaved my legs for the first time. On my 13th birthday. Even though I technically "wasn't allowed to", I was sick of being made fun of.