Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I like this picture because to me it looks both sad and hopeful.
There's me not worrying about things.
This might just be the moment I found the cutest little weed flower ever. It looked like a tiny daisy. Then I picked it and held on to it for awhile.
There it is. Hahaha.
This is my bestttt friend Heather. We met when we were three. She moved in across the street. I remember the first time I saw her. She was scooting along on a sesame street themed scoot-a-long thing. She's the one who lives in Austin. Until college rolled around, Heather and I always lived across the street, or down the street, from each other. We are so so lucky to have that advantage, and we know it. We never went to the same school. I really think that helped us. We always had stuff to talk about and we never spent SO much time together all day every day that we got sick of each other. She's simply amazing. 17 years and counting. My longest relationship :o)
This picture was taken by either Heather or Alex from the balcony. There are two of these. I really like both of them. That's Will and Sam that I am hanging with. Will is Heathers' roommate, and Sam is his bestie.
This is another best friend. Alexandra. We met in Kindergarten. I actually remember the first time I met her, too. She looked perfect. Nothing about her was askew. Her hands were folded, her feet crossed, her ties tied properly, her long beautiful hair combed.
Then there was me. A mess. No one could comb my hair. I had to think very hard to even sit still. My ties were constantly untied. I always forgot my modesty shorts. We sat across from each other. My hands were anywhere but folded neatly on the table. We were a perfect match.
We were the smartest, fastest learning two kids in that class. And throughout the next couple years at school. So at least we had that similarity. Some things never change. Alex still looks perfect. Every time I see her.
Here's me enjoying clouds.
It really was a very well spent day, in my opinion.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I really hope I am passing all my classes. I am going to make that a priority....to figure that out....tonight.
I have one more HUGE paper due, and that's it for big projects this semester. woo! The rough draft is due Monday. Yikes.
Next week there is just class on Monday and Tuesday. Then a small break for Thanksgiving, then we come back straight into dead week, then it's finals that next week, then boom. This semester from hell is finally over. I've signed up for classes next semester. Only 13 hours though. Because I have to work fairly often as well.
I am slowly....VERY slowly....starting to accept that I suck at life (in comparison with most my friends and my sister, annie), and will have to stay in college for an extra semester or 2. The thought of this actually makes me want to vomit all over my keyboard- but I would say vomit is a step up from the thought usually causing meltdowns in addition to the vomiting...
I am a good citizen and I gave blood today. Got a free t shirt. XL. Just my size. Or the only one they had left.
One of my peers from acting class called me up a few days ago. Haven't talked to her since May... We weren't very close, but I guess somehow she heard that I was pregnant and miscarried, and just when I can go a couple hours without thinking about it, I have lovely people reminding me.
Although, I am not angry with her. But turns out- she's pregnant. And has no idea what to do. She asked me what I did to have a miscarriage so she can avoid doing it. I very patiently, without crying, gave her a small lesson on miscarriages, that hopefully she learned and learned well, so that maybe if someone else in her life has one, she will avoid questions like "why did you have one?"
She's going to have a beautiful, healthy baby.
I know this because she doesn't know how far along she is to the exact day. She doesn't know how to spell obgyn. She doesn't know who the godparents of her baby are going to be. She doesn't have a tentative name for her child. She doesn't have very supportive friends, and the father ditched her and ran away immediately. She doesn't want this baby, and that's how I know she's going to have it.
On the 6th I am co-hosting an ABC Party. For those of you who aren't aware, an ABC Party means Anything But Clothes. I will be going as a game. Wearing a twister board as a dress or bikini, and gluing puzzle pieces and other various board game schtuff to my body. I'm excited.
I suppose that's all for this random update.
Wait! Every Thursday, I have been throwing romantic dinner parties for my two really awesome galpals. They drive in from North Richland Hills and we spend the evening eating a lovely meal, drinking lovely wine, and bitching about pretty much everything. It is awesome, and candlelit, and has really made my weeks better. Giving me something to look forward to and plan. This Thursday we have another girl joining us, so I am ULTRA excited for that! This will be the third Thursday that we've done this, so hopefully we can keep it up.
Okay. Lots of love to you, fellow bloggineers.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
And there was a girl. And she was in front of me. Semi-far away.
And I judged her in my mind, because that happens. To everyone. Admit it.
She was an interesting looking lady. I could not quite put my finger on why.
As she got closer, I examined her closely.er. closelyer.
She had wavy dark blond hair tied back in a ponytail. A knee-length black skirt, and a pretty peach blouse.
Not a bad outfit, really. But STILL. Something odd.
Luckily, i was both on my phone, and had sunglasses on. Which warranted extra-obnoxious staring.
As she neared even CLOSER, I gave her a once over. You know the type. You start at the top, you go to the bottom, you stop to focus on the girls boner,
THE GIRL HAD A BONER.
I didn't know UNT had TRANNYS!!!!!?!!!
This one? Not so good. Could see her DICK.
Anyway. That's my life.
"Hey Lady, NICE COCK"
in my head.
Oh I hate school these days. I fell a bit behind when I miscarried. It is SO BAD to fall a bit behind your junior year of college, because it is SO HARD to catch back up. I HOPE I am passing all my classes. I have been turning in all my assignments, but when I get them back with poor grades, they are not near as awesome as I thought they were when I first handed them in. I have no doubt that I will fail math. I might even fail English. I talked to a a lot of people in my English class today, though, and they all seem to think that she is a very unfair grader, and they all might fail as well. A girl got her paper back today and burst into tears. I looked at mine- a B+, hey awesome! But wait....-10 points for a formatting problem (A formatting problem. Not multiple), so a C+. Great. That sucks. For me. On an ENGLISH PAPER. My BEST subject. Guess not this semester. It is so frustrating to consistently do NOTHING but homework every single night, and still get poor grades.
Still no job. I completed my TABC yesterday so as soon as I get that in the mail I am going to go apply at sleazy bars up and down Fry St because NO ONE ELSE will hire me. Also, I wonder how I even think I will be able to hold a job when I can BARELY finish my homework from 5-11 every night.
Oh my friends are wonderful. I REALLY wish they didn't live 45 minutes away. Or that I didn't live 45 minutes away, really. I usually see friends on weekends, although now I am completely out of gas and completely out of money. So, FAIL.
Why didn't anyone tell me living alone was so lonely? And if they DID, why didn't I listen? I don't mind being alone during the day. But I hate being alone at night.
I eat damn well, thanks. Kind of. Sometimes. At least once a day. Better than most college kids.
I so signed up for NaNoWriMo this month. I have started at least 6 novels. Hated them all. Gave up. Started writing my movie. That's going well. Format isn't there. Plot isn't there. So far all I have are characters, and a bunch of stories to incorporate. That's at least a string to grasp at.
SO- Life lately? Sucks. Really. Just in the past 3 weeks or so.
NOT counting weekends. My weekends have been splendid. It's the damn weeks that really bring me way way down.
I just can't deal lately.
Thanks for putting up with my bitching for the day :o) it's appreciated.
Friday, November 7, 2008
....Well, except tonight. But I will be going with her! And I am very excited. I have gone over there with her once before, and I am going with her again tonight. I am excited because I thought I was going to be staying in Denton alll weekend long, and the thought petrified me, even though I know that is ridiculous. So now I have PLANS!!! And it includes riding in a car for about 4 hours, being silly, being bored, being obnoxious, and being it all with a good friend.
Sounds like a good weekend already.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I really just could not deal with that. So, being EXHAUSTED and annoyed, I wrote a note to my fellow republicans saying:
Okay so I don'
Now it's over.
If you can'
I didn't realize so many people would disagree with me. I usually have always tried to be a really optimistic person, and I can see good in every single person.
As a disclaimer to this note- I guess I should have been more clear that yes- I too am scared for America. I think we should prepare for war, because if the troops get pulled out of Iraq- I personally believe that Iraq will follow them. And then there will be war IN America, and I can't even begin to tell you how frightening that is.
But the thing is- I HATE how whiny and bitchy republicans are sounding. It kind of reminds me of how the democrats were in 2000. And I just wanted everyone to shut up when so far- none of that drastic change has even happened. And being optimistic- all I can do is pray and hope that it is as positive as can be, even though my gut feeling is telling me otherwise.
It's been wrong before. My gut feeling. Remember when I was going to have a baby? I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A BABY. And then I miscarried. So, where were you on that one, gut feeling?
All I know for sure is, either way this country was screwed.
Gotta say though- From segregation to nomination in half a century is pretty cool.
As Dave says- the government is not our country, so America- I still love you lots. Good luck, and stay strong and united. Please.
"Americans will decide next week whether the next president will be a socialist or a national socialist. Lest you think I exaggerate, consider McCain’ campaign theme of "country first" before everything else – your private life, your job, your children, your education, your marriage, everything. Ask yourself how this differs from the philosophy of German fascism, which preached "the common good comes before the private good" (see Paul Lensch, Three Years of World Revolution).
Or consider the fact that McCain supported the Wall Street Plutocrat Bailout Bill. A defining characteristic of fascism was that all profits were private, but losses were socialized. And oh yes, military imperialism (a.k.a., "national greatness conservatism") and a dictatorial executive were also key features of European fascism. Recall that McCain promised that if elected (paraphrasing), "I will order the Secretary of the Treasury to buy up all of the foreclosed mortgages." Is that really a part of the delegated powers in Article I, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution?
Then there is Comrade Obama, who has announced that he wants to "change the world" by "spreading the wealth." Didn’t Marx and Engels say the same thing in 1848? As is well known, Obama has long had a close association with ACORN, the far-left political organization that employed him as its legal counsel in Chicago. It is ACORN-style "community organizing" that Obama claims is his political forte and qualification for running for president. He boasts of having worked with ACORN to register tens of thousands of new voters and has defended the organization against all critics. It is safe to assume that there must be a congruence of interests between Obama and ACORN.
So the question becomes, what does ACORN (and by implication, Obama) stand for politically and philosophically? It so happens that I researched and wrote about ACORN over twenty years ago when I co-authored a book and numerous articles on the subject of "tax-funded politics," i.e., the (illegal) granting of tax dollars to "nonprofit" organizations to fund political activities. ACORN was receiving single grants from the federal government in the half million dollar range as far back as the 1970s.
And what was ACORN doing with your hard-earned tax dollars? According to the 1983 ACORN Members Handbook, "We will continue our fight until the American way is just one way, until we have shared the wealth . . . our freedom shall be based on the equality of the many . . ." Socialism, in other words.
The Handbook published a very communistic-sounding "Peoples’ Platform." With regard to the energy industry, nationalization was recommended in order to "put people before profits," one of the oldest of Marxist slogans. The Marxists never understood that in the free market the only way a business could earn profits was to serve its customers.
All of the public utilities should also be nationalized according to ACORN, so that the prices of electricity, natural gas, etc. could be determined politically according to "social considerations." Nor would there be any discontinuation of service for nonpayment, said the ACORN Handbook, which begs the question, "why would anyone pay their bills under such a standard?"
Price controls would be the order of the day for industries that were not nationalized, and the "health care plank" of the "People’s Platform" called for socialized health care. All hospitals would be managed by "democratically elected community-based committees." "Throw doctors and hospital administrators off the boards of directors, and replace them with a low and moderate income majority," demands the People’s Platform. Can you think of a better way to totally destroy health care in America?
The housing industry would also be subjected to the ruinous policies of price controls and prohibitions of evictions of tenants who failed to pay their rent. Welfare indexed for inflation would be part of "the rights of workers" when out of work, as would a "guaranteed minimum family income." Corporations would be required to have low-income rabble on their boards of directors to give "the people" a "voice."
In short, ACORN has always advocated nothing short of the destruction of American capitalism and its replacement by the dumbest and most destructive forms of socialism. For years, it made millions for itself by "challenging" bank mergers and branch expansions, as allowed for by the 1977 Community Reinvestment Act. In return for millions in donations and promises to make millions more in sub-prime loans to unqualified borrowers (i.e., "the people" referred to in "The Peoples’ Platform"), ACORN would withdraw its protests (usually administered by the Fed) and the banks would be permitted by the Fed to carry out their plans. ACORN worked diligently for three decades to force mortgage lenders, though this policy of legalized extortion, to make bad loans to unqualified borrowers. And their defenders, like Obama, claim that the Community Reinvestment Act and all of the "community organizations" that it empowered had nothing to do with the sub-prime crisis. It was all caused by "greed," they tell us. Have we really become a nation of morons?
So here’s your choice on election day: McMussolini (as Ilana Mercer calls him) or ObaMarx. Take your pick. Or do the patriotic thing and stay home. Don’t vote. It only gives them a reason to claim that "the people have spoken" and that they have a "mandate" to ruin our country."
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Mom didn't take my car. She got here ultra late (for her) and seemed to be in a really good mood. That's how I know she's been good at taking her medication lately. So YAY! Also, today I will be going to vote.
I didn't vote early. I should have. Now I have to leave math class early to make it in time. She's mean when people leave early. She makes fun of them after they leave. I will be failing that class anyway. For the second time. Math is totally not my forte.
We'll have a new president soon. Not that the current one has done such a spankin' job. But I am so scared for the country. No matter who gets elected, I cannot see anything EXTRA wonderful coming from either of them.
Have a great day, America. And please go vote. It matters. It counts. You'll feel good about yourself. You'll get a cool sticker.
So, when a young
When the young
" And, when the young
By the time the execu
By the time every
By the time every
By the time the press
By the time the chang
By the time the chang
You can call those
And, now I 'm back to the begin
Monday, November 3, 2008
I can't though, because 1- I do not have the time, and 2- I do not have the language skills necessary to describe my Sunday afternoon.
I will tell you, however, that it was indeed a truly spectacular weekend, full of friends, parties, driving and well...all this...other stuff. Just know, internet- that it was just wonderful.
Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. I got back to Denton this morning around 4am, and went over to Jamie's to finish some homework. Then, sometime in the four and a half hours between me getting there and leaving for class, my car got towed.
...again... because this happened last month...
So, needless to say- my parents are pissed. And now they're taking my car.
It gets increasingly difficult to remember how beautiful yesterday was, when today is just purely shitty so far. Maybe it's because I drove for 6 hours last night and then only slept for three, but my mood has gone way way down. I dread seeing my parents, and I feel terrible to let them down by getting my car towed... But I couldn't get a visitors pass so late and I really needed her printer to finish my homework for my 9am class!!!! Ughghghghg.
Now, I am stuck here in Denton with no means for escape. Just like I was stuck in KS with no car. And in Nacogdoches. And even when I lived with my parents again until I got here and had no car. I felt stuck. Just like I am stuck here now.
I was so excited to do NaNoWriMo, but now I'm not sure I will even start writing a novel. I don't feel like I would finish.
I really wish I could've filled this post with glorious stories about my weekend, but all I feel like doing is bitching about Monday.
In other news: Tina was a big hit...