Friday, May 30, 2008

Almost Back To Normal(ish)

I'm blonde again. Kind of. Hooray!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Accomplished...And Kind Of Sweaty...

Greetings, Blogstars! I am coming to you from across the street where just the other day I finally met the neighbor who lives here now. This used to be Heather's house, but they moved out years ago. Since then we've had a small variety of new neighbors, and I stopped meeting them all together knowing that they would move out soon. These people have been here over a year and a half though, and the other day my mother had a garage sale and Amanda (ladyneighbor) came over and chatted with us for a bit. I learned she has a 19 month old daughter, and I let her know that I am a very good and very cheap babysitter.

So here I am, a few days later, babysitting. Not just for KP, but for her twin 13 month old cousins as well. Both boys. It has been quite awhile since I have babysat so many children under the age of 2. It was a lovely experience. Their parents left at about 7:50, and by 8:40, all three wee ones were in their cribs (or playpens) asleep. That makes me feel very accomplished, and very tired. Just that one hour running around with three little people...but I am still fighting the urge to steal one and cuddle with him/her for a bit, but I know that they need their lovely-uninterupted-baby-sleep. Although there were only 2 poopy diapers before bedtime, so eventually I am thinking that one will be awake soon enough anyway.

Stop me if I sound creepy ( can't stop me...BECAUSE IT'S MY BLOG!), because earlier someone said I sound creepy.... But the thing is, I think everyone could use some baby-time once in awhile. A friend of mine told me earlier that he has never cuddled with a baby, and it pretty much broke my heart. In my opinion, babies are the closest thing to God that we get in this lifetime. Think about it. They are straight from Gods arms to ours. It is truly a blessing to get to spend time with these little ones. They are so intricate, and yet so simple. I've learned a lot spending time with babies. A lot about compassion...patience... and about pure love. I've learned that drawn out hugs can feel better than mindless "things will be okay" talks. I've learned that things are funny just because they say so- with their fits of giggles that can easily floor them. I've learned that the sweetest and purest of embraces is when a baby is tired and they put their head on your shoulder and you rock them, sing to them, or just hold them and drink in their baby smell.

...Go cuddle a baby and try to disagree that they are straight from God.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

jkhftjhfj <---that is how it has been.

I know. I've been missing. Truth is, I haven't felt like writing. My life is annoyingly blah. It isn't, really- but nothing so exciting has happened that I have felt the need to blog about it. Usually I am more creative than this. I promise you that when I return from KS (YES!! I'M GOING TO VISIT MY PALS IN KS!) I will write an extensive update and maybe even post pictures. I know. I rock. Other than that, I have an audition tonight for lots of different shows, and I will let you know the outcome of that as well. Hope everyone is doing well, and I look forward to maybe entertaining you via blog sometime in the near-future.

*Lacey Jane*

"Lacey you look like shit did you get drunk last night?"

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Dear Mom,

I know I usually handwrite all my letters to you, but I figured this time I would go ahead and do it on the internet for all to see- because I have NO PERSONAL LIFE WHATSOEVER.
Basically, Mom- For someone who wanted no kids (and ended up with 6), you really did one hell of a job.

You've always been the kind of mom that other moms are jealous (and slightly scared) of. When we were kids you did a really great job of always being our mother and not our friend- yet you were friendly- so it may of come off that way. Doesn't matter. You were great. You were crazy. You were unfailingly honest. And you continue to be all of these things to this day.

We've all had so many opportunities in our lives that you have always encouraged us to take. That is why the majority of your kids are world travelers. It is because of your support, and all that you taught us.
You taught us to work hard,

play hard,

and be safe.

er... Take risks...

But most importantly- you taught us how to love. We love ourselves because you loved us first- and no matter what we do in our lives- you know that we always have you to thank for the unending supply of love that you have given us. Along with that love, you have taught us how to be dependant on ourselves, and not anyone else. I am not the kind of girl who needs to rely on a guy for anything, and neither is Annie.

You've showed us that doing that doesn't always work out, and we need to rely on ourselves to take care of ourselves. This is an important lesson that many girls don't get. It really pays off to have a badass mom who works harder than anyone you know.

You helped us grow up to be independant, successful adults- and eventually, that's just what we all will be. And we all owe so much to you because of that. You did such a spectacular job. I cannot tell you how many adults I have conversed with that have stopped me to tell me that my mother must be a really special lady. I tell them that you definitely are, and they probably know you- because you're Patty Smith (Rockstar), and you know everybody.

I love that my friends want to hang out with you. You've never been afraid to tell them what their parents are afraid to tell them. You always have some form of tough-love advice to give, and almost everyone really appreciates it. People need to hear it- and you're just the person to tell them. Everyone loves you- and for someone who didn't like kids- they sure like hanging out with you..

I know this letter isn't very formal or in any sort of feasable order- but it is really difficult to tell you how much I love and appreciate everything you've done throughout your life. You weren't perfect- but you didn't pretend to be. You've always been so real- and it is something that lots of moms aren't.
I love that you played with us. That you laughed at us. That you embarrassed the ever-living-SHIT out of us. That when you went to lala land you did whatever it took to come back to us. That you can see the bigger picture. That you can't remember the words to any song. That I was rasied listening to Prince, Madonna, Ace of Base, Queen, Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, and any song that you felt like making up at the moment. That you try to be in with the in crowd, and sometimes succeed. That you try on swimsuits in department stores and then loudly declare that you need to BACK AWAY FROM THE CHEESEBURGERS. That you have accepted every single deliquent child, or person without a place to live into your life and your home with open arms. That you've helped more people than I can imagine. That you are so strong, smart, and generally happy- even though so many terrible things have happened to you. I love that you taught us to have a great sense of humor. That it's okay to laugh at ourselves and have fun even when no one else is. That money is a big issue- but don't let it hold us back from acheiving our goals, and going to school. I love that you're so loud that I can overhear every conversation you have. That you sing horribly, but at least you sing. All the time. That you can't dance- but you try. That you've had, and continue having a fun life with us, even though sometimes it is really difficult. You're the best mom I've ever known. You've done a better job than anyone I can think of. You're insane- but it has helped you. You're a good role model because everyone you meet loves you immediately. I really cannot thank you enough for everything. I will strive to become half as successful as you are. And if my kids are anything close to as awesome as Doug, Annie, Dave and I are, then I will consider myself a great mom, too.

Lots of love, from your second favorite child *(and first favorite daughter)*

-Janice (laceyjane) (you also call me lucy, boobs, laylay, annlacey, or really just whatever name comes out..)

Happy Mothers Day :o)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

REJECTED. By men. By jobs. By blogger.

Don't get me wrong- I am a semi-happy person with a semi-good outlook on life. Lately I just feel so rejected though. I don't get it- I am average on all accounts. Average people do pretty damn well in this world. I don't get the more professional jobs that I go for- I get ditched by every. single. guy. I date (all uh...3 of them..)...but worse than all of this misfortune? BLOGGER PUT MY ACCOUNT ON HOLD BECAUSE IT THOUGHT I WAS A SPAMMERRRR!!! Me. Spam. Great. Thanks, Blogger.

So basically I am hating. That's right I said it. I am hating on things. Because I feel like a reject.

Very cool.

*Lacey Jane*

"Maybe you should date people JUST to dump them.... you know... just to see how it feels."

Allowing Myself JUST THIS POST....

I voted today. For a friend of mine. He is running for Bedford City Council, and I could not be more proud of him. He's a truly amazing guy. He set out a goal, then did everything he could to accomplish it. Now, even if he loses, he wins- because what college freshmen does anything TRULY significant like that? He won't lose, by the way. I cannot fathom him losing. He will win- and I am going to his election party tonight to congratulate him.

Last night was truly a low night for me. I had 2 beers. Yes. Just 2. But apparently that was enough to initiate a complete emotional breakdown. Tears, yelling, hopeless feelings, and all. I was very insane, and I feel pretty bad about it. Not bad enough to apologize to the poor guy that got to witness it- but still pretty bad. Like I said. It was a low moment.

I have dated a total of two serious boyfriends. Two. They both dumped me. That's cool. It's only two. It's only three total years of my life. I learned a lot. About relationships, and about myself. So although I was completely heartbroken both times, I understand that it is not the end of the world.

I felt it was time to have a guy to date in a more er...playful way. A fuck buddy, if you will. Not one of my best decisions, but there you have it. So I found a guy (an ex of one of my ex's ex...if you can follow..), and we started this really casual, really fun "relationship." After a month or so of hanging out, making out, occasionally having sex, and basically just having a good time, I very annoyingly started developing these obnoxious things called feelings for him. We started dating exclusively, which completely went against our casual nature. I told him I tried. I did! I tried. I tried to be casual and just be in it for unimportant things. But I guess that's not who I am. At all. Something I learned about myself with this guy- was that I am not the kind of person who can casually date. He said he understood and he can't do it either. So we went all exclusive. Which was nice- but kind of annoying, because why be exclusive, but still not be "in a relationship"? How very perturbing. "Oh well!" I thought. "It doesn't really matter. What's a title, after all?"

Things progressed. Then he said he just wants to be friends. It took me by surprise, but it shouldn't have. He says I am practically perfect, and it really sucks, but I'm moving soon, and he can't handle any sort of long distance relationship, and he really needs to be by himself right now. So cool. Whatever. I thought it's not a big deal. I can be friends with him. We hung out last night. As friends. It didn't work out. Especially after the beer. Nothing happened- but I got...upset... to say the least. It just didn't seem fair to me. I don't like being told that I am awesome, but things aren't going to work out. It's not me, it's them. I hate that. Cool. I shouldn't care. But it still kind of seems like it's me. I am never the person that lets people down. I get let down. BUT LIKE I SAID- only by 2 serious, 1 non-serious guy. It just sucks- and I will allow myself to feel sorry for myself in my blog.

Because it's MINE. But after this, the pity party is over. Thanks for reading.

"Money can't buy happiness. But it can buy ice cream. And really? Isn't that the same thing?"

Thursday, May 8, 2008

No Motivation. Must Force Myself To Blog....

...Later though.

*Lacey Jane*

"you're lucky you got my fantastic boobs. I mean they're just fantastic."


Growing Up & Stuff...

After blogging on xanga for the majority of my teenage years, I have decided to switch to Blogger for a more grown-up-type-feel. I do not plan on giving out this blog to my family, so really- anything goes- good, bad, ugly- it's going in here.
So, now that I have that out of the way- WELCOME TO MY NEW BIG-GIRL BLOG! I hope you enjoy it and leave comments for me to enjoy! There is not too too much going on in my life lately... I auditioned for Jesus Christ Superstar, and am looking forward to hearing from them on the 16th (maybe?). I am single, awaiting acceptance to the University of North Texas, which will be my fourth (and hopefully final) college... I work as my mothers assistance until the end of this month, when I hope to find a different job, doing I don't know what... I plan on living in an apartment in Denton and will soon be going apartment hunting. Wish me luck!