Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Slowly But Surely....

All posts from my xanga from the year 2008 have been successfully transferred to this blog! Yay! Well, almost all. There are a few with pictures that will have to wait for me to be back in Denton.

Lots has happened! Update about it alllll later.

For now, I had a really great Christmas and I hope you all did too! I will try my darndest to find time tomorrow to tell you good people allllll about my year, but for now, I am too tired of transferring all my blogs, and if I read one more word about my life my eyes will probably fall out of my head and roll away.

Or something.

See what I mean? Tired.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Better Late Than Never....

The first weekend of December I went and did something that I have never done before. I FINALLY saw Dave dance!!! My little brother has been taking ballet for 2.5 years now, pretty much ever since I have been in college. I was always out of town at school when he had performances, but this year I finally got to see him dance in The Nutcracker! It was beautiful, and I sobbed. He played the Snow King, Clara's Dad, and the Arabian Prince. The only pictures up so far are from when he was the Snow King. As an extra awesome addition, his girlfriend Diana was the Snow Queen. They were BEAUTIFUL:

for the rest of the photos:


in some of those photos it is another girl, not Diana. But the ones with Diana are the besttttt! Enjoy!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas

....That's all you get for now. But it was sincere....Honest.

Friday, December 19, 2008

I Did Not Even Last ONE Week

Greetings, fellow bloggonians. I type to you today at 7:21am from my bed at home. You may wonder if I am EVER up this early. The answer to that my pals is no. No. No NEVER. Unless I have homework to finish. But during this, the holiday season, where my hours are 12:30 to 6:30 every day, no. I will get up at 9, maybe. Or 10. 1030 at the latest. So NOW, you may be wondering what in the hell I am doing so awake and shining on this dreary? beautiful? cold? warm? I don't know. Friday morning.

The answer is quite simple. Yesterday at the preschool, when I was hangin' out with my pre-k, all 18 of them, my head starting hurting. Then it started pounding. Then I had to have a talk with pre-k about how Miss Lacey is a big fat baby when it came to being sick at school. She didn't like it and it made her mean!!! Surprise surprise: ALL of pre-k is sick too! Their heads hurt. Their tummies hurt. Their throats hurt. I hear 100 stories about how they've "frowed up" in the past. My little hypochondriacs are very adorable as they sympathized but it really didn't help the headache situation.

So, I was Miss Lacey Grumpy Pants yesterday, but the kids were great, and actually, because I AM Miss Lacey- they never ever ever think I am mean. Ever. Probably because I don't look scary at all. Even when I try. I have to win them all with love and kindness. Some of the teachers can just give a look, and the kids straighten up. Not me. I give a look, and they smile or laugh and shake their heads like "oh Miss Lacey...it's cute that you try."

So anyway, why am I up at 7:29 in the morning on a Friday? Because I am sick. I am quite sick. I frowed up last night. Well, actually it was more like at various times this morning. Even when I had nothing to frow up. I continued to make beautiful frowing up noises. It was most unpleasant. And that's why I told you all about it. Enjoy.

As my Doctor put it, I work in the petri dish of America. And if you recall, my immune system ain't what it ought to be. Mononucleosis does that to you, and when I got mono, I got it BAD. Some of you may recall!

I realize this post could have gone as follows:

"I puked last night so now I won't even be going to work today because I am pretty sick because all those damn kids are sick and I didn't even make it one freaking week without getting their slimy germy sicknesses."


Also- I really do love those damn sick kids.

*Lacey Jane*

"I thought those puppets were fake BUT THEN THEY STARTED TALKING!!!!"
-Tanya, age 4, when Mr. Music and his puppet friends had left

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Don't Have Time To Update, So Forgive Me When This Sucksss:

Hello, fellow Blogstars. How are you? I hope that you have all been very very well this holiday season. I know that I have been listening to 103.7 nonstop in the car because they only play Christmas music, and I definitely love Christmas music. I can listen to it every day, and, well, I do. So yeah.

Some of you may recall that I recently mentioned that I was going to be visiting my doctor quite soon. That happened yesterday, and it went, well, it was intense. He basically told me that yes, I am a mess, but lucky for me I am a fixable mess, an easy fix at that, and pretty soon I will be back to being happy and loving and blahblahblah. So that's good news I suppose. I was given medicine to help me sleep, because it's been bad. I don't sleep much. When I do manage to fall asleep at a decent hour, I wake up 2-3 times because of bad dreams. A lot of times, I can't go back to sleep. SO hopefully starting tonight, things will go better in the sleep department.

My doctor recommended a lady for counseling. I will be thinking about that. It isn't about the councelling in general, it is that it is far away, and probably expensive. So we'll see.

He also said that my self esteem seemed to be at an all time low. Which I disagreed. "I'm the shit." I informed him. He said "What are your friends like these days?" And so I gave him a run down of how spectacular my friends are, and he told me to start hanging out with people who are in the same place in life that I am in. I said, "I do, all my friends are within my age group..." He said "that's not what I mean..."

So that kind of sucked... I really adore my friends that I hang out with a lot, so I will continue to hang out with them, but he says he thinks I would be happier with myself if I hung out with more students. Lame. I like diversity in my friends. My friends come from all walks of life. I like that. It helps me learn about all walks of life. I don't know. It was the most confusing part of our talk.

He also prescribed me xanax to help with anxiety and he doubled my zoloft prescription from before. I go back to see him in 3 weeks and hopefully I will be less of a mess. He's a good guy, my doctor. Just. Sometimes he confuses me.

Good news! I passed 3 out of my 4 classes. Failed math. Again. Go figure. I got 2 D's and a C, but STILL. Passed. Better than failing everything. This was definitely the worst semester of my entire life. I am usually a decent B student. Next semester looks promising. Except I am attempting math again. For the third time. We'll see. I hate it. It's hard and we don't get along. Math=Lame.

I'm working at the daycare again. Does anyone who lives near me (coughcristinacough) know of a place to work over the summer that er....isn't....the daycare? My immune system is not what it ought to be, and working in the petrie dish of America is really probably not the best place for me, especially during cold and flu season, when ALL the 2 year olds have neon runny noses.....

I think that is it for my selfish all about me update. There is a lot of dramatic things going on that I am getting tired of. Not tired as in annoyed, but tired as in- well- just. Tired. It is tiring.

And with that, I am going to go dry my hair. It's freezing outside. And it snows every now and then. Which is just sickening. Then I am off to work. Which I am not looking forward to, because really, I didn't get much sleep last night......

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Sunday, December 7, 2008

To All Parents of Young Impressionable Children,

I would just like for you all to consider something as you're raising your adorable kids. It's a subject that some parents do not discuss with their children, that in my opinion is very very important.

At least 10% of US adults experience depression at some point in their lifetime- women twice as likely to have depression than men. Of all the people who suffer from depression, two thirds of them never seek treatment. It is estimated that half of all suicides are comprised of people with untreated depression. However, for the one-third of the population that does seek treatment for depression, 80%-90% feel better within a few weeks.

Many people think that depression is something to take lightly, or something that can be equated to people just being dramatic. A lot of parents with "dramatic" children do not talk about depression or teach their children about it because treatment for depression often includes taking medication, and that scares parents.

What would scare parents even more, is if their child goes untreated for depression because she was raised thinking that people who turn to medication for depression are unintelligent, taking the "easy way out", dramatic, or weak. People who are untreated for depression have a chemical imbalance in their brain, and some of them end up having "an episode" or, to be frank, they going crazy. Then, sometimes, they try to kill themselves. Then, sometimes, they end up in mental hospitals. How fucking scary would that be, parents?

My best friend is in a hospital right now being treated for severe depression. Because she was never taught about depression. She was never taught that it was all right to talk to her doctor about being depressed, and she was never taught that medication could help her. It's not okay to feel sad all the time. To always have that general feeling of malaise. She was taught that people that took medicine for depression were weak and crazy- and she was not weak and crazy.

When I was about 5 or 6, my mom had an "episode". She didn't try to kill herself, but for a good week she was not my mother. She laid in bed with no will to do anything, including be a mom to her four kids. A friend of my moms came into town and took care of us for a week or so, and my mom went to see a new doctor. Dr. Katzen saved my moms life, and in just another week and a half, my mom was back to being my mom. Because he introduced her to prozac for her depression, and to xanax for her anxiety. Anyone who has ever met my mother will tell you how very very strong she is. No one who has met her could ever call her weak, because she's simply not, and taking medication for her chemical imbalance saved her, and gave us our mommy back.

Lately I have been feeling wrong. I have an appointment to see Dr. Katzen, who has become a family friend, next week, because I cannot stop being sad. I can't stop crying, I can't stop feeling hopeless, and I can't stop having bad dreams and irrational thoughts. I was on zoloft for awhile throughout springtime and summer, but got off it because I was feeling much much better. I did well without it for a good long time, but now I am feeling more depressed than ever.

My best friend very unexpectedly trying to kill herself has been hard on everyone, but it has pissed me off because her parents never taught her correctly about what she was going through, and it almost resulted in her death. Had her sister not been there and called the cops, she would have successfully killed herself.

Her and I have had many many conversations about depression, and I have tried to get her to see a doctor, a psychologist or psychiatrist about how she has been feeling. She has thought about it, but her parents have never supported things like that. They raised her to think that she can work through all her problems with her friends and family to support her. Many problems can be worked through with loved ones. But some just cannot. And I can't stress that enough.

So, just to add on to the list of topics that most parents find uncomfortable, please try to educate your child on depression- don't make it a taboo subject. And if you yourself don't feel very educated on the subject, please do yourself a favor, read up on it with an open mind, and an open heart. You might just learn something important.

statistics and facts found on:

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Flu Season & Waterworks

Well, it's (kind of) official. I have the flu. Nausea, headache, achyness, the works. It isn't HORRIBLE yet. My highest temperature was barely 101 degrees, but because it is soo cold outside, and 101 is still a fever, and I feel horrible, I didn't make it to any classes today. I don't feel TOO bad about it because it IS dead week (which is perfect because I might as well be dead with as much as I got accomplished). I just hope I feel better tomorrow so I can start and hopefully finish my FINAL research paper, due on Friday.

My car is broken. Undrivable. And I have no idea when I will be getting it back. So that sucks.

I'm almost out of zoloft, so I need to call in a refill, although I am thinking about just going back to the doctor (you know, when I can get a ride back to town) and talking to him again, because lately EVERYTHING is making me cry. It is not any sort of crucial time in my cycle, so it isn't that... I just can't stop crying. Over ridiculous things. SO lame.

How's this for a freaking lame update?