Monday, December 3, 2007

You'd Think After 19 Years, One Would Be Able To Control Such Things...

So basically- Here I am back in Nac after an eventful weekend in Houston (Elliott and I will be in town THIS weekend instead of this last weekend...obviously..). I have..

*sigh*

Why do I do this?

I have this desire to inform you all of something quite unfortunate- and unless you can pretend I am a wee baby right now, please refrain from reading for your sanity and my pride (What pride?) (oh yeah..).

..I have a diaper rash.
(Or something like it)

Laugh it up- laughsters- but the thing is- I have been getting them all semester. I go to Houston or Dallas or Austin, and the tender raw achy part... is immediately cured and happy and not sore.

I come back and after two or three pee-pee trips....there it is again.

I swear it is not some ST(D)(I), but...

Sometimes it bleeds a tiny drop of blood when I wipe.

I am not a rough wiper. I am actually quite gentle. But it's just that the damn toilet paper in the bathroom....well..it is so cheap you can't even buy it at the grocery store. I would be glad for a 42 pack of Bath Tissue for 2.99 at Sack N Save....The toilet paper you buy to decorate the trees of the less fortunate. GLAD FOR A PACK OF THAT.

But no. We get this. Or...something like it. And because of that. I need this. Or something like it.

Cherish your Charmin, folks. Adore your Angelsoft (2ply!!), Cuddle your Cottonelle closely...you make look insane for a time- but at least you do not have one of these (or something like it).

*Lacey Jane*

"Lacey- just don't wipe with the bumpier side!"
"It has another side?!"

-Roommate and I...she's smart sometimes- so maybe I will try this feeling of the toilet paper before wiping myself...apparently, there is a bumpier side that I just may be using...

No comments: