It's not that I am bad at keeping secrets, it's that I don't have very many, so I do not understand why other people seem to keep so many. When someone tells me a secret, I immediately wonder if I were in their shoes, would that certain thing be a secret to me? The answer is usually no. So that's why I turn around and tell Eric. Or Heather. Or my neighbor. Or my entire family. Or my dog. Or all of the above. I think that secret keeping is a large contributor to lies and drama that I try (I swear I try) to stay out of. Not to say that all secrets should not be kept- because I will admit their are some valid ones... but when someone asks me "can you keep a secret?" I honestly tell them that it depends on what their secret is, because, not to sound like a bitch, but they have to have a GREAT reason for keeping it a secret, or else I will probably blow it.
I really need to be better about keeping secrets, especially my own. For instance- when I got pregnant, I should have waited to tell people. I really should have. It would have saved me a LOT of pain and sorrow and having to repeat for months and months and MONNNNTHHHS after I miscarried that I had a miscarriage. That was my bad. I told everyone I knew. It helped me at the time, I realize, because I had some supportive (and some not so supportive) people behind me. But oh man. I should not have told. I am worth than Thindy Brady.
I hate surprises. Every year of my life since I was probably 7 or 8, I have snuck out of my room a few days before Christmas, taken all my presents to my room late at night, and peeked. Every. Single. One. It's not so much that I couldn't handle not knowing (although that's definitely a contributing factor), but I am really bad at accepting surprises. I never know how to react, what to say, how to look like I love things, even when I DO love them. I have to practice. I have to slowly peel up the tape on one side, slide whatever is wrapped out, and ready myself to act surprised and happy when I get what I get at the right moment.
All of this is to say that Eric and I are getting married on October 2 of this year, and I am not supposed to tell anyone until we get my ring.
....I think I've told my entire wedding party, as well as my mother, most of my siblings, and at least three random people I've seen on the street. Now you guys know. I was going to wait and have an awesome post with pictures and the whole story of how he proposed, and maybe later on I'll do that. We plan on getting engaged in March or April, and then married on TENtwoTEN! How am I supposed to keep this a secret? He wants to surprise me for when he actually does get down on one knee and propose (even though I told him he really doesn't have to do that. No. Really.), but he wants to, so I suppose I will just have to deal with knowing that eventually and soon, Eric is going to surprise me, even though he knows I hate that :o)