This is the singularly negative posting-day I have set aside out of the week. It will be full of why's and woes, stresses and strife. Fraught with trials and tribulations, hardships and heartaches...brimming! with ...well... you get the idea? Right.
Today... Today I started training at that restaurant that you have all (not) heard so much about. Being a hostess to start is... everything I knew it would be. It is boring, it is lame, my uniform makes me look like a shapeless amoeba... Other than that? It will make money for a bit until I can get a better job at a bank.
Heather leaves tomorrow morning to go back to Austin and I hate her for it... in a jealous way. i will be going to visit her asap.
I miss my Kansas friends and I NEED THEM IN MY LIFE!!! More importantly I wish to be up there with them, but it is indeed freezing up there, so I kind of wish that I was up there and it was freak-warm-weather-in-Kansas week, but whatever. I guess life doesn't work with me.
My neighbor is dyeing of cancer, which really royally sucks, and I hate myself for not being able to be strong for her. I want to break down and cry every time I see her, or every time I see one of her kids outside. This is also taking its toll on my mother-
My mother has a stressful life. She takes care of everyone and everything. That's a lot of taking care of a lot of people... and for some reason, her stresses make me all stressed out. When she gets upset, I get upset, especially if she's upset at me... Things are decent on the homefront- just...a lot of stress. Just like everywhere else. It isn't always like this- but it is right now.
Until next Wednesday...
I hate my life.
"I hate my life, Tobias
I hate my life, TOBIAS!
It's full of strife, Tobias.
So full of STRIFE, TOBIAS!"
-the song I sang to heather's tea-cup poodle. He really appreciated it, actually.
(the word "Tobias" is a lot lower than the rest of the song, in case you try to sing it.)